Ahh it has been so long since I have written into this blog – probably 3 years! Although in my mind nothing has really changed, I look back at my old posts and see how different of a world I’m living in now, from the inside and the outside.
I’m mostly talking about how I used to write about being rich or building wealth, compared to my no longer wanting to focus on only that aspect of my writing. Of course I still love talking about building wealth, passive income, and other stuff related to personal finance and making money. But I’ve learned a few things about myself since the time of my posts from long ago. At that time I did not realize the struggle that was happening from inside of me – the struggle between uncovering who I really am and the image that I wanted to portray. And it sounds crazy, I know, but it actually isn’t such a bad thing – considering that I have shaped my life’s purpose around building up an ideal image to those in the outside world. I now am helping successful entrepreneurs design their website, while also helping contribute to their “brand image”. It all has to be related somehow, right?
The point I am trying to make here is that of transparency. What is it about ourselves that we are hiding without even knowing about it? Are we struggling to live our lives in some way that has been prescribed to us in one way or another? What is the driving force between the very smallest of actions that you take each day? For me it used to be money or the idea of money – and it worked for a while! I bought 7 rental properties within 2 years and created a nice source of passive income for myself. But something about me inside was still struggling to hold onto life in a peaceful way, even though I had created a nice passive income stream. And that struggle prevented me from taking everything I had accomplished “seriously”. I neglected to take care of some of my assets (and still do) which has brought the house of cards tumbling down. I’m currently reaping both the reward and the consequences of some of my actions in the past, something that happens for all of us, some bigger than others.
The good news is that with every storm is a clearing ahead, which I believe might be in sight for me now. I’ve experienced so many emotions during the past three years that forced me into a position of choice – either stay unhappy and struggle or learn how to deal with life and just be happy. Of course it’s never really that easy and it will be a struggle until the day I die, but it’s getting easier. I’ve tried on so many hats (in terms of who I am) that finally I’m finally beginning to just let go and accept who I am and go with what “feels good”. I know that I’m doing this right because all the things I do today I enjoy much more compared to all my other “trials”, and the stuff I’m doing today is nothing that I created out of thin air – I have always enjoyed doing them! I simply never listened to my inner-voice and followed it! It makes me want to cry that I’ve ignored myself in that way – but I’m extremely happy that now I never have to go back! Awesome!
So that’s it for today – I was inspired to write this because I’ve been experiencing some challenges during the past couple of days and needed to get it on to paper. You could try this too – after 500 words you would be surprised at how you feel at the end compared to your mood at the beginning – this is the least expensive form of therapy in my opinion!
To all a happy Wednesday….
Category: Personal Development